How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

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A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

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Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks like a penis

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What did the African do when he found out he was constipated? He ate a laxative and went to the toilet

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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Woman rights.

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What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

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Have you heard about the Polish hockey team? They're not very good, but what they lack in skills they make up for in enthusiasm and good team spirit.

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whats hard, its not what you think a penis

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How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

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why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

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A drunk is pissing on the plaza and the cop stands next to him and says, very nice. The drunk says, that's what she said. : )

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What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

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My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

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I was walking through the woods the other day when I heard a rustle in the bushes... So I went over and said, "Russell, What are you doing in the bushes?"

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

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Your time.

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How do you drown a blond? Keep her head underwater until her lungs fill with water and her bodily functions stop working.

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what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

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Bumper Sticker: I Brake for Stop Signs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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