Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well, you shouldn't be. I came to inform you your entire family died in a car crash.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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An Indian man left a 20% tip after eating at the closest restaurant to him

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Why did the bird fall. Its tree got cut down.

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Robin, get in the batmobile.

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Two black men go inside a movie theater. They sit down and watch the movie.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Muffins can't speak therefor it said nothing.

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Today is May 18 2016.

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On a scale from Casey Anthony to Sandusky, how much do you like children?

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I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

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Looking for propane accessories? Well look no more!

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Why did the tissue dance? Because it had a boggie

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If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

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What happened after jimmy cheated on a test. Jimmy went home.

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A white boy who just got jumped, with sever bruises left lying in a pool of his own blood.

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When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? There is no best time, it is based on personal opinion and depending whether or not you have a conflicting schedule

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Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

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What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

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-Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? -No -Niether have they

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If you shaved Chuck Norris' beard, you'd find a chin.

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A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when they see an orphanage on fire. "Oh my god!" says the rabbi. "We have to save the children!" "Screw the children!" says the priest. "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.

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What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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