A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

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What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

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Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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What is funny about a child with down syndrome? Nothing.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting cancer from a horse.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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K.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? Seven brutally abused and raped 6 as a child.

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Chinese food tastes so oriental sometimes, sort of like asian food

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What happened to the guy who got bullied? He commited suicide.

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Did you hear about the couple that met in a revolving door? They died.

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You Know Wats Funny? Jokes....

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What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a donkey? a mule

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What did the gay man say to the deaf man? I don't know, I can't hear.

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Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer! -jpow

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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