What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

What did the mexican get for his brthday? A potatoe

Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

Why was the little boy so bad at the piano? It was his first time playing it.

Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

Why did the fat kid drop his Mcdonalds? Because he had a stroke.

i got angry and i was like " i really want to kick someone" ,my friend was on the ground and shes like "you can kick me" ,and i'm like "REALLY" ,then i kicked her really hard and she cried...

How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

Why did the leprechaun cross the road? If you still believe in leprechauns, you need to see a doctor.

roses are violets red is blue i like doughnuts doughnuts are good

What is better than a cat? Nothing

Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? The bench can support a family.

Their, they're, there You're, your

Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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