i like tits

If Jimmy has 50 pieces of candy and eats 40 of them, what does he have now? Jimmy has diabetes.

three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

Want to hear a good joke? The NBA.

Why was the teenage girl crying? She wasn't, she was just experimenting with her emotions.

What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow Jones.

How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

If you shaved Chuck Norris' beard, you'd find a chin.

canaan and mallory

Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Starving children in africa.

What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

Roses are red violets are blue my d*** is bigger than you.

What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

Wanna here a joke? Canadians.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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