Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

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A Irish man walks our of a bar

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What did one hipster say to the other hipster? I'm not a hipster.

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What did the the boy get from his grandma for Christmas. Nothing. she died a week ago.

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

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what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

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A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

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ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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Why did Martin go to school with no pants on? Because he had no legs.

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Yes. Just Yes.

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How do you lose your train of thought? You can't. It is impossible to fit a full size locomotive in the human skull.

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What is blue and looks like a bucket? A blue bucket

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Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

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Looking for propane accessories? Well look no more!

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What do you get if you cross a lin and a deer? A pile of bloody bones.

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A walrus walks into a bar

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69

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

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Why did the white kids accept Morgan Freeman as a kid? All of his school-mates looked up to him

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What do you say when you kill a pregnant lady? Double kill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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