How do you get a jew out of an empty pool? Give him a lader

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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what did the doctor say to the woman? I have 3 testicles

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy i suck at rhyming door knob

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Q: What do you call a black guy with an air plane? A: A pilot you racist bastard!

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Kid: mom what happens when grandpa farts? Mom: well son... Everyone leaves the room

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What's Casey Anthony doing now that she's not in prison? She's actually living life as an upstanding citizen in Florida.

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Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He is a fun-gi!!

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Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

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I just can't stand sitting down!

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What did the man say to his wife at the funeral. Nothing, he was dead

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LMFAO - "WE runnin' through these hoes like Drano?" Is that really what society has sunken to? Is this really what is accepted? Is this what we are jamming into children's moralities? Society is Screwed!

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What did the Penis say to the Condom? Nothing. The human organ is not able to talk to another inanimate object, therefore it's impossible.

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What happened to your face? I walked into a tree

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There once was a man in Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He awoke with a fright In the middle of the night To find that someone was breaking into his house

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What's a worse feeling than an upset stomach? Seeing a child getting molested and not saying anything.

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Q: What do you call a black man in space? A: An astronaut. -Ap

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Q: What did the man ask the waiter when he was seated at Cracker Barrel? A: May I please have more golf tees?

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Penis

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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How do you lose your train of thought? You can't. It is impossible to fit a full size locomotive in the human skull.

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Q:What did the hillbilly say when he lost his tractor? A: Where is my tractor

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How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

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While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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