An elephant walks into a bar..what the hell

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Whats very large and produces alot of seamen. The US navy

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How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "OH MY GOD I CAN TALK!" the second muffin is so shaken in its beliefe system by a talking muffin that it commits suicide.

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What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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Q. What does McDonald's and Michael Jackson have in common? A. They both stick their meat in 13 year old buns.

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What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

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Why did the teacher yell at her students? The class was acting completely inappropriate and she felt it was necessary to discipline them so the current situation won’t repeat its self.

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Dylan is a person

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

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Whats worse then finding TWO worms in your apple? The Holocaust, it was pretty bad.

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What did the engineer say to the supervisor? Hi.

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WNBA

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How do you confuse a blonde? Speak to her in a nonsensical language of gibberish you have devised without her being able to understand or translate.

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Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N Porn.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because he was Pierre preasured by all you assholes Saying he already did it so now he feels like he Has to do it.

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What's a slang term for a really, really fat person? Overweight.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" So the horse says, "My ex-wife just got full custody of my kids and I'll never see them again."

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What happened when a saxophone hit Sally? She had a concussion.

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Q: How did Whitney Houston die? A: Who?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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