My phone rang. So I answered it.

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Joe used to always talk about his family and his two wonderful kids Joe can no longer talk to or about his family because his smoking habits have gotten out of control

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What just hit my face? The floor

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ROSES ARE RED WATCHES ARE GOLD GET ON YOUR KNEES AND DO WHAT YOUR TOLD

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Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What was the tallest mountain before Mount Everest was discovered? Mount Everest

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This is a swimmer Joke. Chuck Norris once lapped a kid in the 50 free... LONG COURSE.

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How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

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im black

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What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

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what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? Yo bike!

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What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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how now brown cow. WTF.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the moose say to the hunter? I don't know, what? Nothing, a moose is an animal therefore it can't say anything.

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

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Q:how many anti jokes does it take to make a person lough A:1

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Knock knock. Come in.

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What did the man say to his wife right before they got married? "I do."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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