Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

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There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

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Why did Dom stop smoking He didnt I lied

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What do you call a bear eating another bear? A cannibal.

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What's worse than the holocaust? 3,000,000 jews.

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Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

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Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!

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Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

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When life gives you lemons ....go murder a clown.

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I look back at all those hours I wasted playing those stupid video games, but then I'm reminded of all those people I brutally killed.

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Mary had a little lamb... that's what she gets for having intercourse with the farm animals.

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What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

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Why was the boy crying. He just got raped by a llama

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Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: The construction of a steel-reinforced concrete wall will work in most instances, but for more resistant cases, the use of a high-impact titanium anti-rhino charging barrier is required.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a shark in your apple.

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Roses are red violets are blue hes for me not for you if by chance you take my place ill take my fist and smash your face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the results of his AIDS test

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Why wouldn't you want OJ Simpson babysitting your kids? Why? He's in jail and he wouldn't be available when you needed him

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ok, a family walks into a talant agency, the talent agent says "What can you do". The family breaks out into a sing and dance routine, and do nothing sexual in their routine.

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So a priest, a rabbi, a blonde and a black person walk into a bar. The Bar Tender says, "Is this some kind of joke"

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why does it suck to be a black jew you get the back of the oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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