What has four legs and one arm? An attack dog in a daycare.

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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

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Whats the difference between a bad skydiver and a bad golfer? The bad golfer looses the game, drives home, and falls asleep. The bad skydiver dies in a terrible accident.

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When is a tree not a tree? When it's a rock.

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What do you call a girl with no arms or legs on the beach? Sandy What do you call that girl tossed into the water? Sandy Duncan

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Where do you go when you die? Nowhere

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why was the boy running? because his skin was burning off

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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What's the difference between a table lamb? A fishing pole, automobiles are very useful

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? Doormat.

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A black man, a white man, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The bartender kicks them out because he doesn't have time for another crappy joke; as the bar is very crowded that night.

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Why do all black people look the same? They don't you're just racist.

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Snooki

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hi im paul ! im an alien :D tyuioyt5rtyuikfuhgdehjdhfghjhgfjjhfjfjdjdjd i pe out of my finger :D

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Why did the boy scream? Because his girlfriend poked him in the butthole, which he was not expecting. Thus surprising him.

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A deaf, mute clown wearing nothing but a dead cat, a rainbow wig, and his own feces breaks into a couples home on April fools day. Then he murders them both because he is an escaped patient from an asylum for the criminally insane.

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Q: What is worse than The Apocalypse? A: Darkseid, Thanathos, Red Hulk, Onslaught, come on The Apocalypse cant even beat the X-men! Moral: "I AM THE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE!"

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How do you make a mimer to speak? Shot him in both knees and cut of he's ear

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What's worse than finding a small cockroach in your drink? Finding a medium sized cockroach in your drink. What's worse than finding a medium sized cockroach in your drink? Genocide. What's worse than genocide? Finding a large sized cockroach in your drink.

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Roses are red violets are blue I would test our new water bed so be carefull with your helled shoe!

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How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house KNOCK KNOCK who's there? da chicken

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What's the difference between erotica and kink? Erotica involves simple arousal; kink usually has an added element of masochism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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