- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are green I'm bipolar

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What time is it? I believe it's half past 10, sir. Damn, I'm late for a meeting. May I ask, what time are you supposed to be there? 11 O'clock Why sir you have half an hour left. No shiitt, sherlock

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Is this the krusty krab? No, this is Patrick

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Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

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Proof reading

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what did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for easter AIDS

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Q:What did grandma get for christmas? A:a coffen

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There was once a boy named Swan, But then they built Autobahn.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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guhhjghkjghjgkwefyuwefgehdfbfryfgwdfhdbfadhfbewifoyqgefhqjdbsjdkdfbnqerwifuqbdjsa wuefgeyfgdshkjjhgfiuyegfdhfbdksabnfehwbfeiofqwrypweqiryewpiryewufhdjfbxncmsbahewf bdcuhbwewhuxnyfurgbcyuiwfbewcyiubnyfeurieixybnqweircbnewociuxnbweu crbweyuicyxbreuwxcybewuoiqbyxeowucybnqweucbnowieywicybrqweiubncyqoweubnrcyuowiebno

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

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What is grey and looks like a rock? A rock

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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what is the awesomest of them all? me

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What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

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what do a parrot and a hippo have in common? i want to kill every non white human being!!!!

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing ? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Well it cant be sarah

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How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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There was this women at a banana festival, but she didn't like bananas. So she split

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What happened when a 16 year old guy went over to his friends party? found out he wasn't friends with anyone there, got kicked out and committed suicide.

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I had a dream, then i died in it and now i'm dead but who cares, how are you ?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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