Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

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KASEEM IS CRAP AT GEARS OF WAR THIS IS NOT A JOKE ITS TRUE (FACT) PLAYSTATION IS BETTER THEN XBOX (BIGGEST JOKE EVER) IV HAD BOTH, SO SHUT UP PS3 BOYS AKA GIRLS

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What did the man say to his wife at the funeral. Nothing, he was dead

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A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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U ALL LIAK DIK

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If you're happy and you know it - put your hands in the air i have a gun.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

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When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Why'd the duck cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The duck.

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A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

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whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

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Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

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Why was the Black Panther upset? Because racial tensions were high in the 60s.

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What's the best thing about twenty six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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two parrots are seated on a perch. One turns to the other and says, "Do you smell fish?"

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He got cancer.

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Who's a looser and has no friends??? Max!!! His address is 2131 HighHills Narrow...

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The term "shots fired" often reminds me of the time a couple of buddies had a drinking contest and I shoved a lit cigarette down the loser's throat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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