How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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Yo momma's so fat, her lifespan is probably going to be very short and you will have to bury her soon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The Holocaust.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

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What is red and itchy? Something that itches and it turns red if you itch it to much

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What do Michael Jackson and your family have in common? They're both dead.

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Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

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What's the resemblance between a chicken? Its legs are approximately equal, especially the left one.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? Because Johnny's a goldfish.

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A thin man walks into a Grocery Store. He trips, hits his head and is killed instantly. There are several children present and they are scarred for life.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

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What is the best place to get watermelons and fried chicken? A Watermelon grove and a popeyes and/or KFC

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What's the deal with airline food?

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

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A list of comebacks: Hows ur face nancy grace ur mom ur face ur moms face take it to my butt, cuz ur the only one that gives a crap

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Goku: KAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Freezebox: HOLY SHI... Narrator: Will Goku ever finish his attack? Will Freezebox stand there like a fucking bitch afraid for the next 48 damn epiodes rather than take a step to the side? Will the "Zee" fighters ever do anything else but comment the trucking obvious and stop aborting the show with their sweat? Find out in the next episode of... Moral: DRAGONBULL ZHIT!

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why did Janelle fail her math test? Because she didn't study.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops