How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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How many black guys does it take to change a lighbulb idk, you cant see its dark

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Yo mama so stupid She took in part of an experiment and was indeed proclaimed stupid.

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A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

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"You know what sucks?" "vaccuums?" "you know what meteforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "you what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my penis, so suck it baby.

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what time is it? 3:16

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Whats very large and produces alot of seamen. The US navy

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Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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why the woman scream when she arrived at her surprise party? Everyone was dead!

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What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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A Jew walks into a bar. It probably hurt

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake? Bob.

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"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

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You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

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Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

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Q: How did Whitney Houston die? A: Who?

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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Why was the guy shot? He was a soldier in World War 2. Lots of people were shot.

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Why do you believe in evolution? Because it increases the power of my pokemon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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