Heartlight

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What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night, To find nothing amiss.

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a dyslexic man came on this website thinking it was made by his aunt Tina keoj he was sadly mistaken. it was just a bunch of jokes about dyslexic men going into bars

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

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A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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What's bigger then a bowling ball? What? Your mom!

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Q, whats worst then being trapped in a house with a ghost. A, being trapped in a house with thirteen ghosts.

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Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

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what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a donkey? a mule

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Women's rights

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5

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The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops