Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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toast points

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Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

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The WNBA

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Your best friend is different from a dead person. The best friend will die if you shoot him in the head but the dead person won't die, he's already dead.

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What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How much moss must a Moschops chop if a Moschops must chop moss?

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knock knock whos there ? Jordan Jordan who ? Jordan Walters

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Shotest joke ever... Your dick.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? In this situation, the minority.

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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What's brown and smells like poop? A monkey.

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

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A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

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Q, whats worst then being trapped in a house with a ghost. A, being trapped in a house with thirteen ghosts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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