What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

What's a skateboard without wheels A snowboard

Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm blind.

A baptist priest walks into a bar with a boner.

what rhymes with sloth? -RaPe-

Q Why did the man run away from his shadow? A He didn't it was physicaly impossible.

How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

Woman's rights.

Knock knock who's there? Screw this Screw this who? Im screwing this like ur boyfriend screwed you!

What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut? A Heart Attack.

YOUR MOM HAS A DICK IN HER ASSCHEEKS!!!

What's 1+1 2, dumbass...

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

A white guy, a black guy, an Indian guy, and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. They drink in moderation and discuss their children, the current state of the economy, and global politics before retiring home to their families.

Once there was a rich man who lived in a castle on a hill. One fine morning who awoke and decided to go downstairs to make a cup of tea. As he switched on the kettle, he realised he had no tea bags, and so, went to the local shops to buy some – but when he arrived back, his magnificent castle had been burnt down to the ground. The man, obviously shocked, looked around in hope for some evidence as to who would commit this awful crime, but he saw nothing, apart from a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance and they give him a mansion. One morning in the man’s fine mansion, he decided he wanted a nice cup of tea, so went downstairs, discovered he had no teabags, went to the shop to purchase some and came back to find his mansion was no more than a pile of ash. Once again he looked around and saw nothing other than a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance for a second time and they give him a normal house. One morning in the man’s normal house, he feels the need for a cup of tea. But has no teabags, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to find his normal house has burnt down. In the distance a little green man is running away. Insurance give the man a small cottage. And one morning in this small cottage, the man goes downstairs to make a cup of tea, but once again he has no teabags. Off to the shops he went to buy some but discovered, as he approached his cottage on the way home, that it had been burnt down. He looked around to see the now familiar sight of a little green man running off into the distance. Insurance give him a caravan. One morning in the caravan, the man discovers, while attempting to make a cup of tea, that he has no teabags. So, naively, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to his caravan to find it burnt down. He looked up and saw a little green man running off into the distance. The now annoyed insurance company give the man a tent. One sunny morning in the man’s tent - he feels the need for tea, but has no teabags; he goes to the shop to buy some and arrives back at his tent to find a little green man holding a can of gasoline and some matches. The man asks: “are you the one who has been burning down all my houses?” And the little green man replies: “No.”

Why did the girl fall off a cliff? Because it was an Anti-Joke.

A Frenchman stays and fights

Why is there world hunger? Because you touch yourself at night.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get away from KFC, which was directly behind him.

What's a pirate's favorite color? Depends on the pirate.

There once was a man from Nantucket who had an affinity for wicker furniture.

I have had depression for several years and have recently been diagnosed with diabetes. I therefore drink diet soda and have sugar free snacks. Which leads to diahrea. Lots of diahrea.

Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

What is brown and sticky? Black tar heroin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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