Get in the Batmobile.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

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Why was it sad that the kid was playing football? He had no arms and legs and he was the football.

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Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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the cast of the jersey shore

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What's worse than banning guns? Very few things

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Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

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Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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Why can't Helen Keller hear or talk straight? Because she's dead

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, every time I drink coffee, my eye hurts". The Doctor then tells him, "You have an infection called conjunctivitis, also known as pinkeye"

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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if life gives you lemonnde your probally halusinating

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

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What did the man say halfway through his sponsored trek across the Sahara desert? Well this was a dumb idea

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Q: What is the meaning of life? A: We don't know. Dwight: FALSE. The answer to everything is 42.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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