Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a bin lorry

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Why is jim retarded? Because he fucks chickens

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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Whats red and hurts when you bite into it? A brick.

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How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

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What's the difference between red paint and blue paint? One looks like blood and is used a lot in restaurants. The other is blue.

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Henry: Say the word "really". Moe: Really. Henry: Now say the word "really" with sarcasm. Moe: Really? Henry: More sarcasm! I want you to be very sarcastic! Moe: Oh really??? Henry: There ya go!

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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Chicken

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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On a scale from Casey Anthony to Sandusky, how much do you like children?

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A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who had an affinity for wicker furniture.

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What did the cowboy say to the skunk? You smell.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

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I walked a few Km from home.. Something stops me in my tracks, there lies A LIE!

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Its a bird! No, it's a plane! Oh... so it is.

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Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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whats worse than shitting in a urinal??? shitting in a shower

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What's a skateboard without wheels A snowboard

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Why did the old man have only one foot? Sadley, the other one was shot off in World War II and life hasnt been the same for him since.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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