A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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Roses are red, foxes are clever, I like your butt, let me touch it forever!

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Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

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Black Person Eating Fried Chicken

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fkda

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why did the one handed man cross the road? to get to the secondhand shop.

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what is worse the Holocaust or slavery? patantan!

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The weels on the bus go...flat

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I like apples. So does Mr. Johnson from the local fruit stand.

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Knock knock Who's there? A very long space I see what you did there

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How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and beat the oncoming car.

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Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

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Cows make a world go round and round They also live in the town town town They make a funny sound sound sound MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO Where do cows go on saturdays? The MOOvies I am Cow Hear me MOO I weigh 10 times more than you! Why are cows black and white? Cause they dont want to be racist

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Two horses, a man with a tall bun, three lesbians, an African woman and another man wearing a clown suit come up to you in your work outfit and shriek:"Happy Casual Friday!" Okay, so maybe this went too far.

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mark is mark

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"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? An Xbox 360.

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A white man and woman are married and the wife becomes pregnant. However, the wife has been having an affair with an African American man. The baby turns out to be white and so the woman was very fortunate or else the husband would have figured it out for sure.

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cool story bro. tell it again. tell it at a party.

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Whats the difference between a cat and a dog? Nothing a cat and a dog is an extremely different species.

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What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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