A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down -7

ObamaCare

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the Blonde say something stupid? Because she is stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +160

What is the priest favorite book? The Bible

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the young boy say to the adorable kitten? "Aww"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

you ever put a vibrating phone on your b a l l s ???

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did it suck to be a black jew during the Holocaust? cause you had to go to the back of the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why is the black guy unable to support his family? He's 3 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Steegers say when he lost his TARDIS? "The niggers stole it again!"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops