- Anti Joke

A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

how do you double your cash? You rip it in half.

What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

Okay, then I am taking the last comment back then.

A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

What would be a good feature for this site? A search by keyword feature. (sorry...)

What did the stop sign say to the no smoking sign? Stop

what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

How do you make a Trucker cry? Kill his family and chop of his arms.

How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

Why didn't the blond resolved the Cold War? Once the blond's socio-economic background was really poor, she didn't have enough education to solve such geopolitical conflict, envolving imperialism, international influence, militar power and scientifical power, still without armed conflicts, as the respective leaders of both United States of America and United Soviet Socialist Republics knew a armed conflict would cost too much lifes, and even in a totally utilitarian society, the benefits of the war to both countries wouldn't be enough to justify the death of thousands. Therefore, its concluded that a meedle class person wouldn't be enough capable to be the charged to solve this kind of tenssion between States, and it would be really silly if someone happened to encharge the blond in issue.

What do you call a man with no legs? Disabled.

Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

Why did the Blonde say something stupid? Because she is stupid

Part 1 - Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Part 2 - Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy!

Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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