What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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Your mom is so stupid she went back to collage and got her masters n buissnes.

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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British Dentistry

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The 80's

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

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what do you call a disabled black man getting beat up? an unfortunate human

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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