*prepares this to get negged*

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock Knock Who's there? No one was there. It was two birds flew into the door and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the baby die? Abortion

thumb_up thumb_down +34

a mushroom walks in to a little boys party the boy says why are u here mushroom says because im a fun-guy (fungis,fungi)

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is large white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what happened to the man with no arms or legs when he was pushed down a hill? nobody knows he is still going ........................................................................

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A: Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights B: Wanna hear another joke? Your sexist beliefs are why your single...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

So a seal walks into a club..

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the last joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are grey Violets are grey Because I'm colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

knock knock who's there Berry Joe Berry Joe who? I just told you, Berry Joe. oh.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, every time I drink coffee, my eye hurts". The Doctor then tells him, "You have an infection called conjunctivitis, also known as pinkeye"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

An American man stopped me the other day and asked for the time, I looked at my watch and said: 5 o'clock.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the old man wander into the highway? He hated his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why do black people sit so far back in their seats? Because they're used to sitting in the back of the bus

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A Jew walks into a bar The bar owner looks at a gang of punks in the back and shouts "YOU! GET OUT!" The Jew leaves the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops