A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating on the water? Dead.

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What do you call something that isn't funny? Serious

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Hitler: I said PASS THE JUICE! not GAS THE JEWS!

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What gas station can u make a Kwick trip at? Kwick trip

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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What's black and twelve inches long? A Maglite.

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How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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knock! knock! whos there? doctor doctor who? no Doctor Brown, you have cancer

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The ability to beleive it's butter. Oh shit, wrong site

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What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

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What did the policeman say to the chav? Dickhead!

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What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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two black guys are in a car. Whose driving? The question is too broad. Either one of those men or unmentioned people could be driving the car.

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Why couldn't little Sally talk? Someone stapled her tongue to wall.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? The Ferrari is expensive and the babies are in a nice hospital.

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Whats worse than finding a bad anti-joke on this website? Dieing of Genital Warts

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You are so stupid you should go to school and get an education so you are able to get a well paying job in this tough economy

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Why were little Suzie's parents crying? Suzie was kidnapped by Al Qeada

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what happens when a Texan see's a black guy? he says howdy

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What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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