Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

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bill is either dead or alive. bill is not dead therefore bill is alive

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what do you watch ? a tv

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Why was danielle so fat? She can't help her bad genetics

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why do people just recycle the same jokes over and over are you that desperate for some f*cking attention? The Holocaust

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What is big, white, and hurts when it falls from the sky? A FRIDGE

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 4 and 5 then raped 10

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Knock Knock Who's There? Mom Mom who? Open the door idiot

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what's shaped like a tree? a tree

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike when you eat them they die

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An atheist walks into a church

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was Friday night (or Halloween or St. Patty's Day) and the chicken was at a party. He got totally drunk, and then got the bright idea that it would be okay to drive home. On a rural two-lane highway, his vehicle careened into the oncoming traffic lane, and then the ditch, thus crossing the road. Fortunately, he walked away with only a few scratches. However, he was cited for wreckless driving, and got a DUI as well.

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Why did the koala bear fall outta the tree? He died. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?? He was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?? He had no arms. Why did the fourth koala fall out of the tree?? He thought it was a race to the bottom. Why did the fifth koala fall out of the tree?? Peer Pressure.

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Q: why was the cow in the middle of the road? A: because it was dead

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if life gives you lemons...chuck them back and say i wanted muffins instead!!!!

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Daniel Textor can suck a gooch he's such a F - A - GGGGG!! Let's beat him up at lunch.

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(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Knock Knock And then I looked through the peephole and I saw it was the handyman that was going to fix my leaky sink so I opened the door

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one is quite sure because technology is not advanced enough for humans to converse with chickens.

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What was the tallest mountain before Mount Everest was discovered? Mount Everest

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops