Leave her alone...

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A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

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You know you have no friends when you write anti-jokes. [M]

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Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

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A Black Guy, A Mexican, A White guy, an Indian guy, Santa Clause and The Easter Bunny Jump off a 500 foot cliff. Which one dies? The all do. But Santa dies first because of his weight and mass.

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What has wheels and flies? An Airplane

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Why did the black man break a woman's ribs? Cardiovascular resuscitation is an emergency procedure often used outside of hospitals to revive unconscious individuals before medical professionals are able to intervene. Sometimes having your life saved comes at a cost.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1 leaves because no one is answering the door

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Why did the man walk into the bar? Because he wasn't looking where he was going

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Black Person Eating Fried Chicken

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out it's an orange

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knock knock whos there jew jew who JEW YOU

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Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

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what is worse the Holocaust or slavery? patantan!

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why did the one handed man cross the road? to get to the secondhand shop.

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What did the guy who killed Osama Bin Laden say? Burn!

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Yo mamma's so old she is dead.

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The weels on the bus go...flat

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I like apples. So does Mr. Johnson from the local fruit stand.

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Knock knock Who's there? A very long space I see what you did there

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What do you call a black man with a group of 5 white guys? Friends. What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys? a diffrent ratio of black and white friends.

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Whats worse than getting dirt on your brand new J's Finding your girlfriend cheating on you with your Great Dane and realizing that he dose her better than you.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? An Xbox 360.

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"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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