A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Thanks

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

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Q: What's the biggest difference between a black man and a white man? A: Their skin color.

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Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on a bench? Nothing. Why would you harrass a guy with no arms and no legs.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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Hey i just F****d you, And this is crazy, Delete my number, And keep the baby!

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

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How do you have sex with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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A white man, a black man, and a mexican were stranded in a giant dessert, They were quick to notice the spelling error and ate happily for a few days

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Why did the depressed teenager die? Because he had cancer.

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Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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What's small, cold, and lifeless? A dead baby.

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whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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why was Austin sad cause his dick fell off

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Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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