Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

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wanna hear a joke. i do to

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why was the boy sad He had a frog stapled to his face

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A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant?

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babe whos moaning? are you with another woman? guy:god damn if you would stay in the kitchen we would never have any problems.

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Ham sandwich

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HEY YOU!!! just checking for assholes

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What do you call a black priest? Father

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How do you avoid dying? You can't everything dies.

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Why did the man stop chewing gum? I threw a grenade at him.

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What is better than winning a medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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how do you make a blonde snowman? hollow out the head.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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I'm gay. No homo.

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Q:Whats worse than a worm in apple? A:The Holocaust. Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Were both lawyers! :D Q: What happens when you throw a purple rock in to a green river? A: It splashes

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Yes.

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A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

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Chuck Norris' punch is so powerful that is falls on the downward slope of the bell curve for punch force of adult males.

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An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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Why does batman wear a mask? Because if he didn't every enemy would know who he was, go to his house a brutally murder him.

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why is the black man black? because he isnit white

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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