What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

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A christian was diagnosed with cancer. He refused chemo and prayed to god. Eventually, he died.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then he sits down to enjoy his evening.

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How do you kill a dinosaur with a spoon? You cant because they are extinct creatures

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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Where did Susie go after an explosion? Everywhere

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Hey, why are asians yellow and africans brown? I'm colorblind.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

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IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO TAKE!

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How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

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Roses Are red violets are blue I HAVE FIVE FINGERS THE MIDDLE IS FOR U

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how do you make a dead baby float? take your foot off its head.

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Do you want to know a funny joke Answer- Kieran Reynolds HAHAHAHAHA This is not Daniel Lesiak

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

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Knock knock who's there? Screw this Screw this who? Im screwing this like ur boyfriend screwed you!

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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why was the black woman forced to sit in the back of the bus? all the other seats were taken.

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

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what glows blue and howls at the moon at midnight? I dont know but i had sex with your mother.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he wants to.

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If you challenge the tarsier to a staring contest, it wouldnt undersand a word you say, but it would stare at you when you would think that was apropos. the tarsier wouldnt really think anything and would just make a peepee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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