Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

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What is worse than using the toilet and then realising there's no toilet paper? A racially motivated massacre.

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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Two generals went for a trip, it went very well in general.

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Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

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A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

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Hearpin my durp

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Whats the XBOX JUAN's most popular game. Call of Juarez!!!

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What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Thats impossible because he cannot walk.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

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What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Not black berries because black berries come from a bush.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

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Who is so stupid they could literally be classified as mentally retarded? Evan Lovro

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How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a coke. The bartender looks at the gentlemen with a little smile and says "Just a coke?"

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Q: Why was the duck hands down hilarious? A: It wasn't, ducks don't have hands and with human beings able to be equipped with emotions such as to see an object or living organism as funny, do not view these mammals in a humorous manner.

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Q.why was ireland takin over by the brits A.they wanted it

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Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

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roses are red violets are black i hope your chest is not as flat as your back.

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If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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