Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile "robin, get in the batmobile"

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Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

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How do you make a black man sad? You kill and mutilate his family maliciously

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How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

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test

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

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women playing football?

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I got a dig bick. You that read wrong, You read that wrong too.

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Once, one man had a horse. And the horse had nothing against it

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How do you kill a retard? Pour gasoline on him and light him on fire.

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Stephen Walking.

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drake

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A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

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Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

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A black man found chicken on the floor. He ate it.

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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Why is a banana yellow? I don't know, ask a scientist, stupid

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is impossible to tell because we cannot communicate with chickens, but we can assume there was something of interest over there.

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what did one tree say to the other? move over

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why did the black guy get testicular cancer? because he put his balls in the microwave.

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the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

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My butt!!!!!!!!

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If a prisoner got one visitor who would he ask to see An Eskimo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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