Why couldn't little Sally talk? Someone stapled her tongue to wall.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what would you like to drink?". The horse, unable to comprehend english, just nods and proceeds to shit on the floor

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Violets are red. Roses are blue. I am drunk, and i'm about to spew.

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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U know what they say about big shoes? Big socks

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Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

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The Treatment of Steve Bartman

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Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

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What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

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A black guy and a few other white guys steal a keg. They then proceed to have an awesome party consisting of extreme inebriation and a massive orgy.

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dogs do not have aposable thumbs therefore they cannot screw in light bulbs

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What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

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Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A white wall with black and red paint just added onto it recently.

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Why we in a Falln tank!!!? Be cause the plane exploded!!!!!!!

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

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terry stockton is straight

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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