What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you dirty racist.

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so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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how did little johnny die? i killed him

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That Awkward moment when your whole family dies

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two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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What do you get when you mix a mexican and a frenchman? A person of mixed racial heritage.

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Yo mamma's so old she is dead.

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Would you like a better house, car, spouse, and a better life all together? No, no thanks.

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what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

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What does a black man do when he breaks into a car? He steals the radio

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

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What did the man with scissors do? He cut his balls off.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mark. Oh Hai Mark

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i cannot get my penis to rise to the occasion, it is the holocaust tho..

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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You know what really grinds my gears? Shifting into "park" before my car's fully stopped.

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Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

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Where do babies come from? My garage

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Whats worse than an old guy? An old woman!

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What do you call a dancing panda bear? I'm not sure, but panda bears are pretty big, so the possibility of them dancing is highly unlikely.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrarri? A dead baby is a non-living human, while a Ferrarri is a brand of car.

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Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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