Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

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What do you get after putting bread in a toaster? -Toast.

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So a disabled man walks into a bar...

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What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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Why did the audience laugh at Chaz Bono? Because he told a funny joke.

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whats better than 24................. 25

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What do you call a black guy, a white guy, a mexican guy, and a chinese guy jumping out of a plane? Skydivers.

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1234 5

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Knock-knock who's there? interrupting cow interupting cow who? moo.

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How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

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Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

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Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

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Why did the Mexican cross the river? For an opportunity at a better life for himself and his loved ones.

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Eine blonde Frau mit ihrem Sohn in Walmart, da sie die Lebensmittel-und Getränkebereich zu nähern, sehen sie ein mexikanischer Mann Blick in die Eier. Der Mann bittet um Hilfe aus der blonden Frau über die Qualität von Eiern. Sie sagt, ABD Eggs sind die besten, so dass die mexikanischen Kerl entscheidet, dass. Beim Verlassen des kleinen Jungen zeigt auf den Mexikaner Jungs Hut und ruft: "Aliens!" die Mutter bekommt wirklich peinlich und ruft ihren Sohn für sein Verhalten und sagt, es ist nicht richtig. Die Mutter wird erleichtert, dass sie sagen, dass die mexikanischen Kerl konnte nicht hören, da er Musik hören. Auf dem Weg aus der Mutter entdeckt einen violetten Flüssigkeit tropft aus der mexikanischen Jungs Haar. Sie fragt ihn, und er antwortet "Sein das Haargel". Die Blondine und Sohn nickt und setzt auf ihr Leben

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

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What do you call something with no legs? A Cripple.

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Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

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How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

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Why was the lemon not feeling well? Because it had lemon aids.

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

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A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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