Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Penis-Pump

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Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

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Biggest lie ever told... Mrs. Beiber, its a boy.

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Why wasn't Fred invited to he party? Because he's been dead for five years

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what did one pedophile say to the other at the playground? DIBZ!!!

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

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Obamacare haters

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

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Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

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What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

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Women.

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A man walks into a bar. Another man walks into a bar.

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Why was the man reading various news articles on the Internet at 2:21 in the morning? Because at that time he could not sleep. Which meant he tried to find something else to fill his time up with.

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I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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a man walks into a bar he is promtly escorted out due to the fact that he wanted to kill the bars owner. The man got life in prison with no chance of parole. This mans name was Michael Myers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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