What do you do if you see a bleeding Mexican in your front yard? Quickly respond to the accident and supply the wounded victim with first aid.

I got it Nero, lets just be friends for now and forget about the work I do here and you there.

Do you know what they say? Words

Why did the car suddenly stop? It was at a redlight.

Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

Knock Knock. Whose There? Lettuce. Thats impossible.

What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

You are so stupid you should go to school and get an education so you are able to get a well paying job in this tough economy

what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

My butt!!!!

Knock knock Who's there A drummer A drummer who I'm not knocking on your door

How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had cancer.

"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

The Irish man was sober.

How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...