What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

who steals more than a black person?, a pirate.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What did the rectum say to the Anus? A: "Your a waste."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

An Ethiopian field worker goes into work one day and finds out he was fired. Agriculture in Ethiopia is bad because it doesn't rain much.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's another word for a priest? Rapist

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whay was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had an extra penis

thumb_up thumb_down +32

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A Jew walks into a bar The bar owner looks at a gang of punks in the back and shouts "YOU! GET OUT!" The Jew leaves the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the baby die? Abortion

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

thumb_up thumb_down +32

The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was the black man a victim of racial prejudice? because he was black

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops