A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why was the black man a victim of racial prejudice? because he was black

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What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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Silly Sally Dillydallied then lost her job to outsourcing.

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What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

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Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

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whats the difference between chuck norris and a normal human being? nothing

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a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

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Your mom is so cheap, that she eats her cereal with a fork to save milk

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Knock knock Who's there? Hurry up, let me in! Hurry up, let me in, who? *gunshot*

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an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

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Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

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q

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What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

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What is the best thing about chuck norris? hes holding a gun to my hea

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a truck.

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What is worse than using the toilet and then realising there's no toilet paper? A racially motivated massacre.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting your nipple ripped off by a pair of pliers

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Your mother is so old that she is dead.

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Q: Why was the duck hands down hilarious? A: It wasn't, ducks don't have hands and with human beings able to be equipped with emotions such as to see an object or living organism as funny, do not view these mammals in a humorous manner.

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Two Haitians walk into a bar and it collapses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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