How do u catch a polar bear u cut a hole in the ice put peas around the hole and when the bear comes to take a pea u kick it in the ice hole

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John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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A priest, a midget, and the toothfairy walk into a bar. Barack Obama.

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Whats green and has 4 wheels? A green car.

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What's black and white and red all over? Colors

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Whats the best way to get a woman to sleep with you? Rape her

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

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Knock knock SCREW YOU I BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the cast of sex and the city get for Christmas Nothing Sarah Jessica Parker is Jewish

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

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What do you call two black guys having sex with Paris Hilton? N*ggas in Paris

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What is the difference between a duck? It can neither ride a bike.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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this is the part where we na na na na every good song needs a na na na na wake up at night screaming na na na na my grandmothers nickname is nana

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What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

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why was the black woman forced to sit in the back of the bus? all the other seats were taken.

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What doesnt have arms and legs? A brick.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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What's worse then ten dead babies in a garbage can? Being the one who found them.

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What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

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"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

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Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

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How do you pleasure your grandmother? Ask your brother

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What did the innocent little girl get for Christmas? Lymphoma.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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