Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

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Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

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why did the imagrant cross the road the cops were on his tail for false identity of the chicken

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

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why did the chicken cross the road? There was a depletion of its natrual habitat due to deforistation and it was searching for a new home.

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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-What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. Animals can't talk dumbass.

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What's black and blue and red all over? I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

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Why did the fat guy get a gun? Because he was tired of all the fat jokes...

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What was the doctor's shirt made out of? Cotton

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"knock knock" "ill get it honey" "no stay in the kitchen bitch!"

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"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

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Penis

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Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Which is correct grammar: 'I hasn't a penis got' or 'I doesn't a penis has'? Answer: They're both wrong.

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Whats worse than 3 black people? 4 Black people

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Dancing Potatoe!

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How did Pikachu jump off of a 100 story building and survive? He's not real

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What do you call two black guys having sex with Paris Hilton? N*ggas in Paris

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The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

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How many rabbits does it take to screw in a light buld? None, it is scientifically impossible for a rabbit to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops