Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

What do video games and school have in common? Nothing, nobody likes school

Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

What did the white guy said to the black guy, when he stepped on his foot? Excuse me.

A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom and sits down. He suffers from severe dementia and realizes that he's been in the classroom before. A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom...

Im Jackson Sinclair and Me and Carter Weeks-69;)

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jewish people aren't edible.

Why did the Mexican put away the Marijuana? Because he was a Police Officer

What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

Oh no! My life is ruined!

penis

A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

fart+fart=poop

What's 4+7 47

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Did the chicken cross the road? No because it was in a fenced in area like all farm animals should be

whats an orphans favorite memory? Not one with his/her parents! PWNED TO ALL YOU ORPHANS OUT THURRRRR!!!!

What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

what's brown and sticky? A stick!

Both my milk chocolate and my white chocolate are brown. Why? I crapped on my white chocolate.

What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

what happens when you get ben roethlisberger, and a young college student? a very pleasant evening, helping ben cope with all the drama he has been in the past year leading him to the 2011 super bowl against the green bay packers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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