Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

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What person looks most like Jim Carry? Jim Carry

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Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The colour of their skin.

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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a Chinese man an and a southern red neck walked into a country club and the chinese man got jumped and he left with no money

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whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

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Why was the little girl screaming? She was on fire. ~G TY

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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A Weight loss service that works

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Sgt. Richard, here... your son was raped many times by Iranian soldiers, then forced to make love to many goats and had his limbs chopped off.. he will never be able to walk, talk or poop without assistance again. OH MY GOD, NO!.. WHY!!! Haha just kidding mam, he stepped on a landmine and died.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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So a Jewish Family walks into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

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On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

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A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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I black guy was walking down a street when he saw a beautiful women and said to her that she looked lovely

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what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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