A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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Why did the Chinese man cross the road? To get to the Chinese restaurant.

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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a Chinese man an and a southern red neck walked into a country club and the chinese man got jumped and he left with no money

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What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

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Knock knock who's there? A serial rapist, now open up. hmmm... Ok... 3 Days passed before they found the serial rapist dead.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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Q: What do you call a fly with no wings. A: Dying.

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What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

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Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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Why do latins like soccer so much? Because it's a very popular sport in the whole world.

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Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A problem What do you call 10 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call ALL the black men on the moon? A very serious problem. We should probably try and rescue them.

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Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

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patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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Why did the little boy and the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because they were dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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