#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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Q: What did Batman say to get robin into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John John who John

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Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter, he's not coming

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Whats worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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what did the turkey say on thanks giving? Nothing, he's dead, we ate him!

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What happened when the lawyer pissed all over the judge? He was thrown off the case, causing him to go home, rape his wife, and put a bullet into his child's head.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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Women's sports

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What is large white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A refridgerator

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How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

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Why did the black man order a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken? His wife just died in a tragic car accident and he is a horrible cook.

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A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

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Why do teenagers, especially girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and creates a fanbase large enough to promote his career thus increasing profits which provides him a better quality of life and great financial future

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Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

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What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

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What's brown and smells like poop? A monkey.

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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Why did the child laugh at the anti-joke? Because it was funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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