What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Fuzzy Whuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Whuzzy has no hair. Fuzzy Whuzzy has Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

thumb_up thumb_down +39

:O + :P = 69

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

thumb_up thumb_down +37

2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Yo momma is so fat, I gave her a cupcake and she enjoyed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: What did the chinese man say to the other Chinese man? A: I don't know, I don't sneak Chinese

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why grannies do not buy a menstrual pads? Cause they will never have their period anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops