waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

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Q: What did Santa give the little boy for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's not real

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln lie? Because he is dead.

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A Black Guy, A Mexican, A White guy, an Indian guy, Santa Clause and The Easter Bunny Jump off a 500 foot cliff. Which one dies? The all do. But Santa dies first because of his weight and mass.

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Why can't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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Me, myself, and I walked into a bar. We didn't say anything to each other because I'm not schetsophrenic.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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How did the blond become a lawyer? She didnt. After many years of collage and studying, she broke down and quit, and became a stripper.

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tobi is so gay that he is the mayor of sanfrancisco

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Good boy

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:/ Meh, I am just a side character anyways... Dont really care...

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Why did the tomato blush? Because it began to ripen.

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What did the American say to the Russian? Hello, but the Russian did not understand

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Whats the difference between a ferrari and a boner? Too much to list.

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What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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I went to visit my friend last week (not a guy, guys as friends? Thats just gay, I mean you fuck all of your friends right?) And she was really happy and stuff right? I mean REALLY happy, and the poor thing was depressed for like 8-9 months or something. So I was like: ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW? >:( She said: YEAH I AM HIGH ON LIFE! I looked down at the ground, it contained a full box full of syringes and needles! So I grabbed the whole thing and threw them out! So then I learned what Insulin was anyways. Ps: Depressed, pregnant... Not sure anymore, it was like two weeks ago or something.

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Recent US presidents (and their accompanying economy)

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From the makers of Call of Duty 1, comes Call of Duty 2.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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How do you confuse a person from France? By screaming in english at the sky while pionting at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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