What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two Jews were fighting over a penny and then they realizde that they may be made fun of for this and quickly stopped.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's grey got white stripes and can't climb trees? Car park.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was 7 afraid of 6? Because 6 accused him of cannibalism

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Black people. They are so kind.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Are you Drew?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

knock knock. Who's There? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the black cat say to the tabby cat?? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I watched the news yesterday and they were talking about the conflict in Libya. I changed the channel.....

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Old McDonald had a farm But due to the lack of government subsidies, he was unable to make his mortgage payments, causing the bank to foreclose on his property.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob Who? Bob the human.........

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A mushroom walks into a bard and the bartender admonishes him and tells him to leave. The mushroom says "Aw, c'mon...you stupid jerk!"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats worse than finding bubba in your house? Getting raped by a rabid racoon..

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

MICHAEL

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops