A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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i died. new product by steve jobs. also presenting icoffin, and next year icoffin 2. slightly slimmer with a lock button to keep zombies out.

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Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

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Why did the white man cry? Because his mistress, Shanghai, was threatening to tell his wife that they were in a relationship and, out of anger, he bashed Shanghai's head in and she is dead,

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Suzie. How is that even possible?

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How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The road was Catholic, and it couldn't cross itself.

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The mighty wizard said "come fourth cowardly lion and receive bravery" but he came fifth and got absolutely nothing. Todo came fourth and got the bravery.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didnt have arms

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 'Cause 7 slept with 8 and punched 4 in the face.

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What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

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Why is Joel so gay and skinny? He was raised by goats with eating disorders.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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what did the 3 hispanic men say to the fat guy? you're in our seats

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What do people in Asia do for black history month? Nothing, black history month is an American thing.

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? The two ships suffered major damageand sank, killing over 100 people. The families of the passengers mourned their loss.

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Snooki want smoosh smoosh

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Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

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what's better to a kid than ice cream from an ice cream truck? when you realize the driver was at your house 3 days ago notifying you that he is a convicted pedophile.

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how do u make a sausage roll push it down a hill

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops