So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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What ruined the little boy's day? He drowned.

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Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

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where would you hide 100 dead jews in a car the ashtray because they were all cremated

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There are too many 20 year olds getting pregnant. Teenage pregnancy is ruining our society!

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Kerry Katona becomes independent.

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Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

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Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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This site is easy to upload to...

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Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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Q: What do you get when you cross Marvel and Capcom? A: Marvel vs. Capcom.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I Love The Music Only Jazz and Blues.

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how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas ? Because sadly his father is an alcoholic and cant support him nor his family.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Its Matt.

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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